Hi, my name is Dogyun Kim. I was born in
South Korea, but I moved to a place in China, near Hong-Kong at age 7 (international
age). I go to a school named SIS (Shekou International School) I have a red birthmark on my right arm, so I think that
makes me special. My hobby is to read any of the comic books. I like to play
badminton, and I like to sleep, because badminton is an exiting sport to play,
and sleeping gives me energy, so I like to do these. My goal is to graduate
KMLA and go to Harvard University, because I want to graduate a good school and
get a good job. I have a dream to get a Nobel Prize.
My 30-day challenge is to get 10 green
cards, no EOP papers, yellow cards or red cards. I want to be healthy and fit. To
get 10 green cards, I think I should be active in this camp, and keep the room
neat. My second goal is getting no EOP papers, yellow cards, and red cards, I should
not speak Korean or other languages; I should only use English. I should
respect teachers, PAs, and TAs. Lastly for my third goal, I will be healthy,
and fit. I think I should do push-ups, sit-ups, and other exercises 100 times
each day, and I should eat a lot of vegetables to be healthy.






Your introduction is good but your goals seem rushed. You should explain more about why you set 3 goals and how they will affect you.
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